The Joy of Being a Submissive Wife

(This is a 3-part post.  Part II and Part III.)

I don’t cut my hair. I don’t wear makeup. I only wear skirts. And I don’t disrespect my husband. (Bonus: He doesn’t even beat me! I do this willingly!) Why am I like this? Let’s have a look into my heart.

Before we delve in, I want to give you the same advice that we give our children. We teach our children that when they grow up and begin to have questions about things we have taught them, then it is their responsibility to study the Bible and to pray for God’s direction. Every man must work out his own salvation with fear and trembling. This also applies to my children.

“Because I said so” ain’t gonna get them to heaven.

If you have any questions about what you read here today, then it needs to be an issue that is between you and God. In the end, it is you and you alone that will stand before Him. He is a loving God, and He will guide You if You let Him. Whether You have a question about your appearance, your marriage, or your salvation, allow God to give you the answer, not some fallen man or article you read on the internet, including mine.

Why I Don’t Cut My Hair

But if a woman have long hair, it is a glory to her; for her hair is given her for a covering. 1 Corinthians 11:15

  • First and foremost, I do not believe that you are going to hell if you cut your hair.
  • Secondly, I cut my hair up until I was 25.
  • Thirdly, no one told me I needed to stop cutting my hair.

I prayed over the issue and God gave me confirmation that it is a covering, a protection over my family. I do not believe that it is necessary for salvation. Sometimes God has us do things that might seem silly just to see if we will obey Him. It is a sacrifice for my family—one that I gladly make.

Why I Don’t Wear Makeup

In like manner also, that women adorn themselves in modest apparel, with shamefacedness and sobriety; not with braided hair, or gold, or pearls, or costly array; But (which becometh women professing godliness) with good works. – 1 Timothy 2:9 – 10

  • First and foremost, I do not believe that you are going to hell if wear makeup.
  • Secondly, I wore makeup from the time I was 14 up until I was 25.
  • Thirdly, no one told me I needed to stop wearing makeup.

It’s not about me. It’s not about how pretty I am or how pretty I could be if I spent money on makeup. I am beautiful the way I am. Even if I was ugly by your standard, I would still be ugly with makeup—just not as ugly. The Holy Ghost gives me a shine that L’oreal never did.

When I was not serving God, I did not wear makeup much. The only time I wore makeup was when I was going out. I had an agenda—to look good, to draw attention to myself. For me, this is what makeup represents, because I know what was in my heart. It is no longer my desire to draw attention to myself. I don’t need to be beautiful according to the world’s standards. My husband and my Jesus think I’m beautiful just the way I am and that’s more than enough for me.

Why I Only Wear Skirts

Notice there is no scripture reference here, because it does not say in the Bible that women have to wear skirts. According to my research, in bible times, everyone wore robe-like garments. There are, however, scriptures dealing with modesty and the heart.

  • First and foremost, I do not believe that you are going to hell if you wear pants.
  • Secondly, I wore pants all of my life up until I came to Christ.
  • Thirdly, no one told me I needed to stop wearing pants.

For me, it’s hard to be modest when a man can make out the crack in my supposed-to-be private areas.

Private means “You’re not supposed to see this.”

I think the main thing here is to state that I am not looking for a justification to wear pants. So many women outside of my belief try to give me justifications on why I can wear pants. Unlike makeup, I did wear pants 99% of the time before coming to Christ. And do you know why I wore those pants? Because I looked good in them! I knew I could turn heads when I walked into a room. I was young, I worked out 6 days a week (at one point, lol), and I made it a point to look good when I put on a pair of pants. My goal was attention, and I was not disappointed.

I wear long, flowing skirts and non-revealing tops to prevent advertising my goodies. I don’t want anyone seeing my goodies. I don’t need that affirmation anymore. It is my job as a Christian woman, regardless of marital state, to help protect men from the sin of lust. I understand that they are responsible for controlling their lust but it is my responsibility to not provoke them. If I can’t respect myself, then I at least need to respect the men around me (and their wives), and cover up.

We all know that a woman can be just as much of an attention-hound wearing a skirt. You’ve got long, tight skirts, short skirts, flashy skirts, knee length skirts with a 12″ slit up the back, and on and on and on. It all comes around to what your attitude is, where your heart is. Which brings me to my next point:

Why I Don’t Disrespect My Husband

Ahhh, surely the one you’ve been holding your breath about. I am going to put this in a separate post, because I realize that there are those who don’t agree with my first three points. But, hopefully, as Christian women, what I have to say about disrespecting our husbands will resonate within all of us.

(This is a 3-part post.  Part II and Part III.)



21 thoughts on “The Joy of Being a Submissive Wife

  1. Wonderful info!! If ALL women felt like this & dressed accordingly. Obedience is a wonderful thing when you just do it!!!

  2. I am a Christian woman who cuts her hair, wears make-up, and at times pants. Truthfully, I haven’t thought much about not doing these things. I wear the natural looking face and tend to stay more vintage in my style. I have a daughter who is watching every little thing I do. I always cover myself and try not to talk down about my looks as if I am not good enough. I would hate for her to grow up one day and want surgery to fit into societies idea of what a woman should look like. I have many friends who share your views, although we have never talked about them. It is nice that you have shared with me. I was raised Southern Baptist. As a teen, my pastor’s views were a little hard to take and I have to say that it pushed me away from God. I have found today that most pastors/preachers do not share my old pastor’s views…I am so happy to say. My relationship with God is just that….my relationship. Since our last move, we haven’t found our place. The churches around here are so “old” and “stuffy” that I can’t get my family or myself to want to go. I hate it, but I know that if we keep trying we will find a place that we belong. I just started to look for an on-line bible study class. I think that will be a must for me.
    I am going to think very hard about what you shared with us today and I am really excited about your next message. I think that we are going to have a ton in common there!  Thank you~

    • What great thoughts to put in a coptic-bound handmade journal. Do you know where I could get one of those? 😉

      A little background on my churching: I was raised in an Assembly of God church. When I married right out of high school, my husband (not the one I’m with now) was a part of a Missionary Baptist Church. Even though my husband and I had attended church all five years of our marriage, we smoked dope and drank on a daily basis, even Sundays. We saved the snorting coke for the holidays. What better way to celebrate Christmas than to get loaded and go to the bars, right? When I left him, I got way out of church for close to four years. I left him and moved in with my current husband and we lived together for two years until we got married. One year into our marriage, we were on the brink of divorce and we knew that God was the only answer.

      I have been blessed to be a part of the Apostolic church for the last 9 years. My husband has been a licensed minister for two years, but he is licensed with an independent organization that holds to our doctrinal beliefs. He grew up in an Apostolic church but unfortunately there was a lot of judgment in the particular church that he grew up in. That can happen in any church setting, regardless of doctrinal beliefs. It is our flesh nature to condemn and be self-righteous.

      The church that welcomed us in accepted us just as we are. My husband was pretty hard core — shaved head, goatee, earrings, tattoos — and when we made the decision to give this church a try (9 years ago), he was so convinced that they would not accept us because of our appearance. He was wrong. They welcomed us with open arms and not one time did anyone ever say anything to us about our looks. The changes that we made were made because God drew us toward those changes.

      So I understand where you are coming from on different levels. We all know I could go on but I’m going to stop there. 🙂

      I have been preparing a post called “What is Apostolic?” but it has only been in my head and heart. I have no intention of using this blog to strong arm anyone into any belief system, but I do want to share why I have made the decisions that I have made and to develop a community where we can all teach to and learn from each other.

      Thank you for revealing your heart to us!

  3. Pingback: The Joy of Being a Submissive Wife II: Why I Don’t Disrespect My Husband « Musings of a Minister's Wife

  4. Pingback: The Joy of Being a Submissive Wife III: A Tale of Three Wives « Musings of a Minister's Wife

    • Can you let me know which one? Sometimes linky parties are linked, so if I post on a linky party on one blog it links up to a linky party on another blog. I try to be a responsible blogger and only post what I’m supposed to post where I’m supposed to post. Thanks for letting me know!

    • There is a “spotlight your blog” slot, so it must have been for that one. I guess I can add a craft to the bottom of this post about how to how to make an apron to wear for your husband, lol. And I also put her site on my “Blogs I Love” page, and I also participated in the blog party by viewing and commenting on other’s people’s posts. I loved the sheet music Christmas trees the best!

  5. I am a Muslim who cut hair,wear makeup and pants according to Qur’an and Sunnah (yeayyyy!!).I’d like to recommend you to read the translation of Qur’an and hadith which you should know and follow sincerely to feel the real joy of being an obedient wife.If followed you are the one who will get the maximum benefit from it in Insha Allah.

    • Unlike most Christians, I have read and studied both the Qur’an and hadith. I believe it is important to be well-studied, especially when you are in the ministry. It is God’s spirit that lives inside me that gives me my convictions. I am happy to answer any questions that you may have, and I hope this message finds you well and blessed.

  6. I am a Christian, married woman, who has five sons and am pregnant with our sixth child. I also home school. I am twenty nine. I agree with this posting and have reposted it to my Facebook wall. I have hair to my waist; I do occasionally wear make-up on date night, etc but as a reflection to get attention from the hubs, not another man. I wear almost only skirts. When I workout, clean, garden, sometimes I wear pants. I do believe there is a part in the Scripture about women not wearing crotched clothing. And, I DO RESPECT my husband. It is a conscious decision. It is a lived idea. Something that takes strength at times and at others is as easy as pie. I am married to a wonderful man, who God gave me. I chose him over any man who exists now or to exist in the future. This is the one and only. Thank God, he loved me back too. 😉

    Here is the big kicker, I have always been a Christian, but felt that at times I lived outside the Word. I was very brazen and outspoken, almost Feminist. I still believe in the Suffragette Feminism, but not at all the 60s Feminism. Two totally different ideologies, entirely. I felt that my marriage to my husband sanctified my wayward life allowing me to be all that God has called me to be. I am still outspoken in a different way. I feel now, that we are called to call it like it is. To make a clear stand of the ways of God, and not be swept up unceremoniously into the secular version of life. God is the same yesterday, today, and tomorrow. He DOES NOT care what the current undertones of society are. He cares what He called you to do, and what your ability to follow His commandments is. You aren’t trying to impress the world, but our Holy and Pure Creator.

  7. Pingback: One Word Resolution: Helpmeet | Musings of a Minister's Wife

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  10. Brave speaking out about unpopular opinions these days. I personally ask my hubby before I cut my hair and he helps me choose a length that suits my reason for cutting (it grows fast and gets in the way by the time it hits my waist i’m ready to chop it.) and keeps it long enough to keep it feminine and womanly even if it is always twisted into a bun to keep out of the way. When others hear I speak to him first they act as if I had gone insane.

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