What is your role as a woman? Well, that all depends. Do you want to be a worldly woman or a godly woman? It’s impossible to be both.
Love not the world, neither the things that are in the world. If any man love the world, the love of the Father is not in him. 1 John 2:15
Most of you have probably heard of King Solomon, the wisest man. You may even know how he came to be the wisest man. And if you know those two facts, then you also know that Solomon’s dad was King David, the man after God’s own heart.
I knew all of those facts, having been brought up in church. However, one thing that escaped me until I started studying the Bible for myself is the fact that Solomon was the child of David and Bathsheba.
It may not have been Bathsheba’s intent for
- King David to come and fetch her,
- sleep with her,
- get her pregnant,
- and then kill her husband,
- only to have her child die.
She may have just wanted to get his attention. How many of us have been guilty of the same?
We just wanted a little attention.
A little showing of the breast, a revealing of the thigh—what does it hurt? The question isn’t “what” does it hurt but “who” does it hurt. And the answer is everyone.
(Note: We have no way of knowing Bathsheba’s true intent. Her intent may have honestly been just to take a bath. I’m just guided by the fact that so often I find my own personal intent to have been impure.)
We teach a lesson around our house, and it is this:
It may not be your fault, but it is your problem.
God’s first punishment to David:
Now therefore the sword shall never depart from thine house; because thou hast despised me, and hast taken the wife of Uriah the Hittite to be thy wife. — 2 Samuel 12:10
And, oh, the calamity that followed in David’s house!
The first child that he had made with Bathsheba died. (The second one was Solomon.)
David had two other sons, Absalom and Amnon, and a daughter Tamar. Amnon raped Tamar. Absalom killed Amnon. Absalom flees but eventually comes back home. But peace is not restored, for he begins to covet the kingdom and rises up against his father, King David. Eventually Absalom is killed.
So, we see here, that it is our children that suffer for our sins.
God’s response to David’s sin was this: “…because by this deed thou hast given great occasion to the enemies of the Lord to blaspheme…”. –2 Samuel 12:14
How many of us have stayed away from church, stayed away from God because of the hypocrites in our lives? How many of us have been the hypocrite? The gossipper, the flirt, the Sis. Betty-Lou-Better-Than-You? How many of us have dropped our standard from God’s idea of what a Christian should be to what the world allows a Christian to be?
So the second answer to “who gets hurt” are the unbelievers. We are supposed to be bringing people to God, not giving them a reason to stay away from God.
Your Personal Pain
When we finally have to answer for our actions, when we realize that we are responsible for our sin, we have our own personal pain and guilt to deal with. Yes, God forgives our sin, but we will still have to face the consequences.
Who am I to speak on such things? I am a sinner saved by grace! Here is the shortest possible version of my story:
I was married. I had a job. I met Jimmy at my job. Jimmy was married. Jimmy’s wife was pregnant. We both had miserable marriages. Jimmy and I formed a friendship. Jimmy and I formed an adulterous relationship. (It can be adulterous without any physical sex. The affair starts in the heart.) Jimmy’s wife left him, and he didn’t stop her. I left my husband, and he didn’t stop me. I moved in with Jimmy. We got pregnant outside of marriage. Jimmy’s wife (they were still married because you can’t get a divorce if you are pregnant) had their child. We had a miscarriage. We had another miscarriage. We got pregnant again two years into our relationship. We got married. Our son turned one. I left Jimmy. I came back to Jimmy. We gave our lives to Christ, and that was 9 years ago.
So there are so many, many other details, but them is the hard facts! It ain’t a pretty story. I am a testimony! Our marriage is a testimony! God can change you and change your marriage if you let Him.
Please join me as we begin to look at how we can all become the godly women that we are called to be as we study loving God–an affair of the heart.