Yesterday (Tuesday) I was cleaning out the van. I know where Jimmy Hoffa is buried, and it ain’t at the 50 yard line. At the end of my workout, I pulled one last sheet of paper off the front floorboard. One, small, endearing piece of paper.
My son, my sweet first-born who loves me to the moon and back, who thinks I’m the most terrific mom in the whole world, who loves the way I smell, the 9-year old boy who still holds my hand wrote seven little letters that made my day. It made my day because they were used to fill in a very special blank.
Now, after the whole spilled milk episode, being the Proverbs 31 woman has been on my heart. I love when God gives me confirmation that I’m on the right track. I was so proud of myself! Just to make sure, I asked him if his Sunday School teacher had told him whose name to write there. He said no and that he thought of me when he read it.
Fast-forward to the real world (aka Wednesday at 2 p.m.):
Gigi is thirsty and would like some tea. I pour her some tea. She takes the tea over to the computer. I ask her (mostly nicely) to please bring the tea back to the table so that she won’t spill it. She complies. I get back to work cleaning the kitchen. At some point, she decided she had had enough of complying and apparently took the tea back to the computer. I say “apparently” because when she spilled it, it was at the computer desk. But I didn’t throw anything this time. I addressed the issue and suggested that she go play in her room for a bit. I really was trying to be nice and calm about the episode. I checked on her, and she was lying in bed. I told her that she wasn’t in trouble and that she could get up and play. She eventually found her way back to the kitchen table so that she could draw and color. Within a few minutes, she brings me a picture she had drawn.
This is you mad (points to figure on far left). This is you saying “Go away” (points to figure in the middle). This is me sad and spilled tea on the floor (points to figure on far right and the dark spot on the floor.)
Let’s break the photo down a bit more:
- See those three “x”s at the top of the page? We homeschool and she knows that “x”s mean “not good”. So here we have “not good, not good, not good”.
- Figures one and two have their hands on their hips. (The big fat body is completely unintentional, I’m sure.)
- Figure two has her face completely blacked out.
- Figures one and two are both me.
- The size of the spilled tea is much, much larger than what it really was. This tells me that it was a really big deal to her.
I immediately pick her up and hug her and apologize.
Even though I was calm and controlled on the outside, she evidently picked up on what I was really feeling on the inside.
I then spent a large portion of my afternoon doing more study on the Proverbs 31 Woman. I found so much fantastic information that I am going to do a 3-week series of posts on what I found. Even if you don’t benefit from it, I will and I need to!
By the time she spilled her orange juice while at the kitchen table after church this evening, I had no harsh words or feelings toward her. She never spills her drinks, and so for this to happen three times in three days leads me to believe that it happened for a reason. At this point in my life, I have stopped believing in coincidences where God is concerned.
Motherhood is my first ministry.
While Jace seems to have no doubt that I am the embodiment of the Proverbs 31 Woman, I have a dainty little girl that requires a different approach. She’s got the biggest brown eyes that stare straight into my very soul. I’ve got to be so careful about what she sees in there.
Create in me a clean heart, O God; and renew a right spirit within me. — Psalm 51:10
At the end of the day, my children are not getting their primary example from their friends, from their Sunday School teacher, from the prayer warriors at church. I have the most influence on them. They are going to judge Christianity by my actions. It is essential that I keep myself in check, that I keep myself prayed up. I know that I can’t be perfect all of the time, but I could definitely make more of an effort to do better. They are worth it!