I have heard other women remark that they have always wanted to be a pastor’s wife. When they were a little girl, they dreamed of being a pastor’s wife. I’m curious as to what part of being a pastor’s wife appealed to them:
- The gossip mill that surrounds you and your family
- The other women that fall in love with your husband
- The 24/7 dedication
- The exhaustion
- Having your family’s every move and word scrutinized
(Note: I was trying to find other uplifting blogs my minister’s wives but they all had such a negative current running through them. That’s where I got my fodder.)
‘Cause I gotta be honest with you here and say I never wanted to be a pastor’s wife. I don’t mind people talking about me. I mean, I give them so much good stuff to choose from, so I can understand. But talking about my husband or my kids…. It really brings out a bad side to me. I’m saying all of this now, because I’m not a pastor’s wife yet. Not a “real” one. My husband pastors prisoners.
(Note: However, you can’t call them “prisoners”. The politically correct term inside the prison is “offender”. I disagree with that. Yes, they are “offenders”. I have to say that if you raped and murdered my little girl and then cut her head off, that yes, I’m sure I would be “offended” way, way, way down below all of the other horrible things I would feel. While they are “offenders”, they are by more than one definition “prisoners”. This calls for a separate post at a later date.)
- When my husband leaves the prison, we won’t have to worry with a phone call at 2 in the morning, requiring my husband to leave our nice, warm bed.
- We won’t have to worry about what the congregants at our church are wearing. They are all going to be wearing the same thing—white jumpers.
- We won’t have to worry about tithing. Ain’t no money in prison. (Ain’t supposed to be, anyway.) My husband is receiving a salary with benefits. Those benefits include paid vacation time, which we will use.
- He will only work 45 hours a week approximately.
Here are some things I won’t like about being married to a prison pastor:
- Our children can not go to church with their dad on Sunday mornings, which means I can not got to church with my husband.
- We will be in flux. We will attend a separate church body other than the one we pastor.
For now, those are my only two bullets. I’m still trying to figure all of this out. I’m nervous and excited, and we’ll be going up on Friday to spend the weekend with him and visit at least one church. I have no intention of church-hopping. We want to be where God wants us to be, and He will give us a spirit of affirmation. If it’s at the first church we visit, then great! I’m ready to get in and get to work. This is one pastor’s wife who enjoys working in the kitchen.
We received another blessing today, which gives us gas money to go for a visit. Jace, my 9-year-old, was so excited.
He said, “That’s four miracles in just three days!”
I love watching his faith grow. And mine, too. : )
We have been so blessed to sit under the teaching of Pastors Johnny Grissom and Bobby Hart. Pastor Grissom taught a message on selfishness, and I took so much away from that sermon.
The main point is that if you find yourself being offended, then selfishness is the root of it.
I have to remember that when my family falls under attack that it is not my place to defend them verbally, damaging my husband more in the process. He is called of God, and God can and will handle any situation much better than I could. Plus, my husband’s pretty good at taking care of himself.
It’s been a long process, but I am finally learning to stay out of my own way. That just might make it five miracles.
Let no corrupt communication proceed out of your mouth, but that which is good to the use of edifying, that it may minister grace unto the hearers. — Ephesians 4:29